Times are changing for me. I've been struggling in my life, and I hope these changes will bring some relief.
Yesterday, I took my final exam for sign-to-voice interpreting. Next semester I'm taking a break from college courses.
I drove 2 hours to Jefferson City on Dec 1 to take the Missouri State performance exam for Sign Language interpreters. That was an important milestone for me professionally, even though I am confident I didn't pass. (I won't receive the test results for up to 6 months.) From that failure, I learned a great deal. My biggest weakness is reading fingerspelling, and that test is loaded with it!
Royal has been gone for about three out of the last six months. He will be home by this weekend. Now, we are pursuing a less travel-heavy work schedule for him. When he left this last time, after Thanksgiving, I simply did not find enough childcare support in my church/friend community here. When it is very cold outside, I feel trapped in my house. It takes about 3 hours of work to bring home groceries. I'm not counting finding time to put them away.
I don't know about your life, but it is next to impossible for me to find 3 hours of time to work just on getting groceries with 3 or 4 kids in tow, who meanwhile will be hungry, poopy, need to go to the bathroom, hungry again, tired, and need to ask if we can get 400 things, oh, and what they want for Christmas.
So, now, I'm looking forward to enjoying my life more. As long as I've got an adorable, cheerful, playful 7 month old, I may as well really have fun with her.
As long as I've got the most beautiful 2 year old son, who gives rapt attention to almost any book, I may as well enjoy cuddling up to him.
I'm looking forward to working with Royal to bring our 2 different views of the future into focus and harmony. I really enjoy pursuing goals that we are both in on. I feel delighted to have him back.
I feel very blessed with the future I have to live into this winter.
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4 comments:
I'm sorry you have been feeling so overwhelmed lately. Four children are a lot to handle with two parents at home and when one is away that job is absolutely nuts. Also, not having the ward family, that is what they are supposed to be, help out must make it even harder. I can't really give you any physical support, but I can definitely give you my prayers and friendship from afar. I hope the next few months are much easier for you.
Good for you to put down in words your thoughts!!! Good for you that you keep trying and not curling up in a ball in bed!!! I trust that with your skills you guys will re-evaluate and find something to work towards! I'm sorry I don't live between you and a store where you could drop your kids off for a couple of hours and shop alone - this past month I have avoided taking my children in a store - so I agree with you and I can visualize that 3 hour process. (: Stay strong! (: Thanks for sharing about your seasons!
well, I know about doing it alone...good luck!
Oh how I love you! Oh how I miss being there with you to help with the little things. I am where I need to be and you are doing a fine job. Just take a day to do the grocery shopping. Its ok to take the whole day and do nothing else! Remember, this too shall pass and you will survive as all of us who have gone before with the same circumstances have. Give yourself a break and remember, the house didn't fall in. And lecture time - try to schedule, it helps.
Love forever, MOM
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