It has been 3 weeks since Mae arrived.
We've had mostly ups and some downs. but, I've been carrying around some pretty big expectations all this time. I've been carrying around the expectation that I'd be back to "normal" around 2 weeks after Mae's birth.
Well, now I'm mad because life hasn't aligned with my made-up idea of what it should be! The universe forgot to comply with my plans! And I'm the angry, red-faced three year old throwing a tantrum.
Here's what is happening. I'm trying to "encourage" (which means force) Mae to eat every 2.5 to 3 hours. Feeding her takes at least an hour. (We have had some breastfeeding complications. She has a "dysfunctional suck".) Then, I either sleep (if Royal or Grandma are home) or I race against the clock to do whatever. Like, make or eat lunch. Make or eat breakfast. Brush my teeth. Try to make Jim or the girls feel loved while I feel like eating them.
Yesterday, I decided this week I was going to get some things done! That was my first mistake, which Royal kindly and politely pointed out. Oh, no! I said. I can get things done without losing my head/temper! I can set limits on my exertion, I said.
Well, This morning, I proved him right. I can't get anything done.
But, you know, I am making up this big story that I should be able to. And that something is wrong here.
But it is just life. I have a big life and a big game to play right now called, "Caring for a darling, demanding newborn while loving and fulfilling three other children." That's my life. And that game just doesn't involve transplanting my overgrown marigold seedlings today. ANd probably not this week! *sigh*.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
7 comments:
Letting go (trying to control life) is hard! From what you said, you are on the right track with your thinking.
“It is not requisite that a man should run faster than he has strength,” King Benjamin
Now it is a matter of getting your emotions and feelings on board. Which is next to but not impossible to do when your hormones are in a spin cycle from just having had a baby and nursing and sleep deprivation (too name a few legitimate reasons).
Call me anytime!!
I Love You!
The fact you can write and joke about this season - means you are doing okay, better than some! (: On my better days I wish "if today my only job was to take care of my kids - I did that job - got it done!!!" The problem I have is when I get caught up on all the other things I try to do and then beat myelf up for not getting done or stressed out that I won't get them done. . . I'm convinced it's all part of His plan. No other experience can teach you what being a mom and wife can. Just don't give up and then you are doing a great job!
yeppers, i know the feeling. those first couple weeks, all i could do was feed baby and sit on couch with the others around me and the baby. that's what they needed though. so the house didn't get picked up until toby came home, but we all got naps.
you've lost the baby weight before,b ut remember that your body is still readjusting to having mae in there so it will take a little more time. yeah i know, you know this.
love you though.
I always try to remember that for the first 6 months I am doing good if I accomplish ONE thing each day.. For alot of days that is brushing my teeth or getting dressed - generally NOT both on the same day.. Hang in there. you have never had 4 kids before, you all need to remember to adjust to this slowly... I admire what you are trying to accomplish, but it will be okay to slow down a bit.
Your post made me smile! i know exactly how you feel! Charlie is 5 months now, so things have gotten a lot better. My mom told me a little "nugget" of truth when i saw her last. She told me that after she had a baby her mom would always remind her "the most important thing you can do is care for that baby. Let the dishes stay in the sink, leave the floor un-vacuumed" :D Which is sounds like you already know!
MISS YOU GUYS! ENJOY THE NEW ONE!
Have you gotten from other comments that your experiences are the "norm"? After I had my second one, I asked our Branch pres's wife how she managed all hers(she had just had her 5th). She replied, "I have discovered that I can always handle one less than I actually have." ie: it ain't easy.
I'm sure your mom has told you that it really does pass so quickly that in no time all the stress that you feel now will be just a blurred memory. "This too shall pass".
We love and miss you all and wish we could love on all the kids and spoil little Mae.
Its amazing how much we don't get done with a new baby in the house:( I've also had those little pep talks explaining my perfect world and had them shattered. I'm so happy for your new little addition, congratulations:)
Post a Comment