Talk a Little

This is the two of us, me without any makeup. (oh, well.) The "new" hooded towels I just fashioned from some old towels, and some old handtowels.

Once, when I was a teenager, I didn't have many friends. This was doubtless due to my lack of social skills and lack of gentleness in personality. But, I still blame it on the exclusive friendship circles of the other young women in my church congregation (for that was the entirety of my social life- being homeschooled.)

I remember how it felt when one would say, "Guess what Cali said about you..." And I would say, "Thanks, but I really don't want to know."

Today I got a similar feeling, although the circumstances were very different.

A few weeks ago, I was in Church working with some women I not only admire, but really look up to.

I came into the room, and I got this distanced feeling. Her manner seemed more formal and uninviting than usual. I hope I'm wrong, but I think something was said that wasn't as complimentary as what I'd like her to hear about me. Either that or I did something offensive I'm not aware of. That is a possibility, but one I'm not inclined to postulate at this moment.

Today, I was told by my friend, Jolene, that she told Judith (A girl I'd like to be friends with) some of my desires that I had hoped to share personally. She also informed me that these desires weren't something Judith was interested in accomodating. I'm surprised how sad I feel inside about it. It is a little silly, but still, I'm sad. I know I should have acted sooner, but couldn't Jolene have waited until I had time to talk to Judith myself? Doesn't this put an unnecessary distance between me and Judith, now?

And certainly between me and Jolene.

I'm resolved (and I hope I've convinced you, as well) to stop talking to my friends about my other friends. Now, you all, hold me to this! What should I do when I'm on the phone with someone, and they start to talk unkindly about someone else? I hope I have the guts to say, "I love you, and I love that other lady, so I'm not really comfortable talking about this right now."

I love you, Jolene! I love you, all you wonderful family! Even though we may not always be in warmest agreement. I still love you, and I hope you won't listen to anyone else tell you about me or what I want. Just ask me! I'll try to be sweet and honest.